[Insert Witty Title Here]

Happy Birthday Chuck Norris! He would be 70 today, if time...

Wed, 10 Mar 2010 09:57:25 -0500

Happy Birthday Chuck Norris!

He would be 70 today, if time wasn’t afraid of him. (via Fark)

Muppet Wicker Man! I hereby demand Muppet versions of all...

Mon, 08 Mar 2010 11:05:00 -0500

Muppet Wicker Man!

I hereby demand Muppet versions of all classic horror films. Immediately.

Description of embedded video. Snarky comment. (via blog or...

Sat, 06 Mar 2010 12:59:00 -0500

Description of embedded video. Snarky comment. (via blog or social link aggregator)

Twilight TOTALLY Invented Werewolves According to a (hopefully...

Fri, 26 Feb 2010 07:49:00 -0500

Twilight TOTALLY Invented Werewolves

According to a (hopefully fake) email sent in to a movie review website by some tween fuckwit, Universal Studios should be ashamed for ripping off the whole “werewolf” concept from the Twilight franchise. Oh, and also for doing a bad job of it and making the werewolf ugly, instead of totally dreamy like the gay indian kid in Twilight.

I weep for our future.

Greenscreens are Everywhere This gorgeously-produced clip shows...

Thu, 18 Feb 2010 11:24:00 -0500

Greenscreens are Everywhere

This gorgeously-produced clip shows reality vs what we see on TV. I knew greenscreens (chromakey) are prevalent in film, but I didn’t realize just how prevalent they are on TV as well, even for seemingly mundane scenes. It’s reasonable for explosions and other scenes that would be expensive or difficult to reproduce in real life, but it would appear they get used all the time even to show people just walking down the street. Cool stuff. (via Boingboing)

5 Reasons You Should Be Scared of Apple This is why Steve Jobs...

Wed, 17 Feb 2010 15:33:00 -0500

5 Reasons You Should Be Scared of Apple

This is why Steve Jobs can go right ahead and eat ALL the dicks. (via Digg)

Today's buzzword is "Synergy"

Sun, 14 Feb 2010 16:45:40 -0500

Now when I make a new post on http://chipandre.com, it (should) automatically update my twitter...

Happy corporate-mandated love day!

Sat, 13 Feb 2010 23:27:39 -0500

Happy corporate-mandated love day!

Now look at this and this, and then this. Our priorities are...

Fri, 12 Feb 2010 01:59:00 -0500

Now look at this and this, and then this. Our priorities are well and truly fucked.

In an article that somehow does not contain the words...

Tue, 09 Feb 2010 16:25:00 -0500

In an article that somehow does not contain the words “kook”, “loony” or “wackadoo”, ever reliable and not-at-all-biased Fox News reports that some people are afraid of a pink Ouija board. Seriously. In 2010, there are still people who think there are evil spirits trying to attack us through board games.

Everybody knows the evil spirits attack us through popular music and dancing. That’s just science. (via Boingboing)

All 50 states, ranked by religiousness, along with other...

Mon, 01 Feb 2010 23:26:18 -0500

All 50 states, ranked by religiousness, along with other statistics. Now we all know that correlation does not equal causation, but damn. (via Digg)

Apple’s latest overpriced fetish-object, summed up by none...

Sat, 30 Jan 2010 04:14:00 -0500

Apple’s latest overpriced fetish-object, summed up by none other than Pee-Wee Herman. I’d make a joke about him watching porn on it, but it’s late and I’m tired.

Fucking-A right, Doug Stanhope. Fucking-A right.

Thu, 21 Jan 2010 12:21:00 -0500

Fucking-A right, Doug Stanhope. Fucking-A right.

Holy crap. Buckyballs are the coolest toy ever. I...

Thu, 14 Jan 2010 15:05:00 -0500

Holy crap. Buckyballs are the coolest toy ever. I am definitely ordering a set of these. (via Boingboing)

EDIT: Way cheaper on Ebay. It’s too bad I’m poor, or I’d seriously consider the 2000 ball mega set.

The first official trailer for the new A-Team movie. Looks...

Fri, 08 Jan 2010 19:37:00 -0500

The first official trailer for the new A-Team movie. Looks pretty badass. Shame about the picture quality, but what do you expect from an early leaked copy. The trailer is supposed to debut officially at theaters this weekend. Hopefully we’ll see some HD versions next week.

The Mystery Of The Fruit Fly Penis Solved With Lasers

Fri, 08 Jan 2010 16:57:00 -0500

The Mystery Of The Fruit Fly Penis Solved With Lasers : Best headline ever. (via Digg)

One jackass sticks an M80s worth of low-grade explosives in his...

Wed, 30 Dec 2009 17:42:00 -0500

One jackass sticks an M80s worth of low-grade explosives in his underpants, and everybody loses their shit about the horrible threat of terrorism. Then the TSA ups the overreaction ante by enacting rules so infuriatingly pointless that even the recently exhumed and reanimated corpse of Niccolò Machiavelli suggested “They may be taking this whole ineffective bureaucracy thing a bit too far”.

Thankfully, someone who isn’t a complete fuckwit decided to crunch the numbers and see what sort of threat terrorism actually poses. The answer is, of course, almost none. Your chances of dying in a terrorist attack are so infinitesimally small, you would need to fly to the moon and back twenty four thousand times before you were likely to see someone blow up their own crotch in the name of Allah.

So here we are, pissing away half a trillion dollars a year on “homeland security”, while the actual risk posed by terrorism practically zero. Meanwhile, when the first guy in 8 years actually does try to sneak a bomb onto a plane, none of the security theater at the airports manages to catch him until after he detonates his skivvies.

Man, those two unnecessary wars may have been expensive, and we may have lost the good faith of the world by torturing and killing people for no particular reason, and sure, we’ve given up most of our constitutional rights for the illusion of security, but at least the system works, right?

For fuck’s sake.

(infographic via Gizmodo, but you can’t blame them for the rant)

Awesome christmas beatbox is awesome.

Wed, 23 Dec 2009 02:13:41 -0500

Awesome christmas beatbox is awesome.

Wow. There are fan films, and then there are fan films. Zelda:...

Wed, 16 Dec 2009 06:28:00 -0500

Wow. There are fan films, and then there are fan films. Zelda: The Hero of Time is an independently produced feature-length Zelda movie that looks really good, despite its low budget. I can’t say I’m a fan of Link’s emo eye makup, but otherwise, bravo. You can watch the entire film on Dailymotion. I suggest you check it out now, before Nintendo’s legal dicks send a cease & desist.

Team Avatar: Pandora Police The sad thing is, this mashup is...

Thu, 10 Dec 2009 14:07:00 -0500

Team Avatar: Pandora Police

The sad thing is, this mashup is probably better than the movie itself. (via Digg)