I approve of the new twilight series honesty-in-naming policy.
The Ten Worst Movies of 2008 That I Didn’t Actually Watch
I have seen none of the movies below. Instead I have ranked them in awfulness based solely on third hand internet rumors and my own personal prejudices. I may not know art, but I know what I hate.
10. Nothing Like the Holidays
9. Max Payne
8. You Don’t Mess with the Zohan
7. Welcome Home Roscoe Jenkins
6. Beverly Hills Chihuahua
5. Expelled: No Intelligence Allowed
4. Step up 2: The Streets
3. The Happening
2. Twilight
1. The Love Guru
Honorable mentions go out to Speed Racer and Indiana Jones 4. They’d have made the list, but unfortunately I saw them.
In the long list of Movies I Know Are Awful Without Having To Actually Watch Them, Twilight is right near the top. Ham-fisted mormon propoganda aside (teen abstinance and bigamy make you cool!), it’s miserably angsty and unwatchable for anybody over the age of twenty or having less than two X chromosones.
Anybody born before the Clinton presidency can agree it’s bad, but now some people are going so far as to say it’s harmful. I think this is silly. Sure, they have some compelling arguments about how the book (and to a lesser extent, movie) encourages young women to change their whole lives to suit the whims of manipulative and stalkerish men. This is beside the point.
Accusing a book of harming teenage girls by encouraging them to make poor romantic decisions is like accusing a man pissing off a pier of harming the ocean by making it wetter. It’s hard to harm a demographic that is already doing everything it can to harm itself.
Girls will be girls, and what teenage girls will mostly be is insuferably stupid when it comes to dating. You can’t blame that on a book. (article via Digg, rant via me.)
It’s official, The Love Guru is the worst movie ever made. No, I didn’t see it - I don’t hate myself enough to do that. Instead I’m just going by every movie review site, blog, and message board post on the entire interwub. Seriously, a Google search for the phrase “I enjoyed the Love Guru” nets only one hit. It is a comment on a review that gives the movie a 3 out of 10, and I can only assume the commentor recently suffered severe head trauma.
If you are reading this post than I must assume you are a friend or a family member of mine, and as such I implore you to avoid this film. No good can come of it. (via Everywhere)
